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There is So Much to Say

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There is so much I want to say. There is so much I want to talk about. But is this a situation like in John 14-16 where there were things that Jesus wanted to tell his disciples but he couldn’t tell them yet, or is it long past time? What does one do with this? If the thing you want to say is eating you alive, is it worth holding in – even if releasing it might hurt someone you love?

This is a tension that I’ve been wrestling with for awhile now, and I’m honestly not sure what to do with it.

“Woe to me if I do not proclaim the gospel!” (1 Corinthians 9:16).

But is this even the gospel? Is it even good news? Is it related to justice, mercy, and faith?

What is prudence? What is patience? What is tolerance? What is wisdom?

I don’t currently know, and so I’ve done the only thing I’m bad at: not say anything at all.

Kidding, but it does seem like that sometimes.

But would it even be worth saying? Is ignoring it making it worse?

Simple things like whether or not we can worship with an instrument (we can) and if it would be alright for a woman to read Scripture on Sunday morning (it is) cause enough problems already. Are people even ready for something else when they can barely handle that?

“Just write about prophecy. That’s what you’re good at.”

But it feels like nothing is worth saying unless I say what needs to be said… unless I contribute to the discussion.

And so everything is on pause… either until I say what’s on my mind or justify prolonging the inevitable for another season. I’ve sat around the campfire and heard the rooster crow for five years. Is it time to join Jesus on the cross? And do I trust that resurrection really does come three days later?

And do I even post this?

Let’s find the balance… or we can just send it, ya silly.

2 thoughts on “There is So Much to Say”

  1. Hey brother, thx for your sincere service. It is frustrating to have a message like covenant eschatology, that opens so much of the scriptures, and have needless conflict over misinterpretations that should be self evident. I’m amazed every day where the scriptures take me but seldom do I feel compelled to share. There are moments when it’s appropriate. Not being in the institutional church frees me from the anxiety of “leadership. I’ve learned to see the scriptures as much more than a book of sermons. Thx to brothers like you.

  2. Daniel, many in the church have gone before you with these mental struggles. Cecil Hook and Ruebel Shelly are two names of brethren who come to mind, in my early years in the church, who had the same struggles with their faith and chose the broad way of religious ecumenicalism. Back when I was your age there were many debates amongst brethren in the church over the issues that now plague you, and in my own mind, settled the questions I had. Today, we don’t debate hardly at all (Brother Don Preston an exception) because it is considered too harsh or unloving. But a student of the Bible, who has the same doubts as do you, has a library of debate books available to read and ponder . . . they “being dead yet speaketh.” It appears to me, based on your previous written comments, that you would do well to branch out from the undue influence of brother Dallas and consider the old paths, where is the good way and walk therein. Read any book from Foy E. Wallace, Guy N. Woods, Franklin Camp, Gus Nichols, and R.L. Whiteside to name a few. The Alan Highers/Blakely debate is worth your time on the instrumental music question – I particularly recommend David Lipscomb’s book “Queries and Answers” which discuss pertinent questions and doubts from members of the church, published in the Gospel Advocate back in his day. Knowing your studious nature, you may already be well read of these authors, but I throw out those names for others who may read this response.

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